This is possibly one of the best posts on the interwebs ever to be devised and was found on LU,oh my god i cant stop laughing
Billy Slater. Award winning fullback. Absolute deadsh*t who wets himself under pressure and time after time the judges throw him the professional rugby league version of a pity f**k.
State of Origin 2010
After being dropped from the QLD fullback job mid-series for having shockers not once but twice (in game 2 2005 and game 1 2008), Slater put in an excellent performance to claim Man-of-the-Match in the game 3 dead rubber of 2010. However despite doing little in games 1 and 2 he was given Origin Player of the Series.
But this wasn't the first time he was given an award when others deserved it more...
Grand Final 2009
Despite being outplayed by Cooper Cronk, Adam Blair and Fuifui Moimoi, Slater was named Clive Churchill Medal winner for 2009. What was his contribution?
A try backing up somebody else's break.
That's it.
He also threw the ball over the sideline under little pressure at the start of the second half, leading to Grothe's try a few minutes later (where he carried Slater over the line). He then watched as Joel Reddy pulled a bomb out of the air for another try on 69 minutes. Two minutes later Slater again proved ineffective as Moimoi carried him over the line for a try. A couple of minutes after that Slater spilled a bomb just 15 metres out from his own line, with the Eels only down by 6.
Why was Slater given the award? Probably because this truly was his finest grand final performance. Prior to this match Slater was involved in the greatest grand final loss in history, where he sucked arse along with all the other Melbourne players to the tune of a 40-0 scoreline.
The year prior to that, Slater was one of the few Storm players not to star in the 2007 grand final win.
Finally, the year before that - in 2006 - Slater gave away two penalties that led directly to successful kicks for goal, in the Storm's 2 tries apiece loss to Brisbane (15-8 final score). Both penalties Slater conceded with the score tied to put the Broncos ahead.
But the Clive Churchill isn't the only award Slater's won for finally-not-being-sh*t in a big match.
Golden Boot for Being the Best Player In The Universe - 2008
This is the award supposedly given for outstanding performances throughout the year.
How outstanding?
May 2008 - Slater plays so poorly he is one of the few QLD players ever dropped for poor performance when he is relegated to the Maroons bench for games 2 and 3 (games Queensland go on to win). Of course, this wasn't the first time (see above).
October 2008 - Five months later Billy is at it again, fumbling, complaining and throwing elbows as Manly run 8 unanswered tries past him.
But surely this wasn't enough to make Slater the clear winner of the Golden Boot. Surely he'd need to dig deep to pip Paul Carige for the coveted-yet-worthless award as the World's Best Player that year...
November 22, 2008 - just weeks after his grand final heroics, Slater appeared in the World Cup final in Brisbane where despite Australia being overwhelming favourites, he put in a performance of such bumbling ineptitude that many observers wondered if Carige hadn't received a late call-up.
This 2008 swansong of Slater's turned out to be the only time Australia had ever lost a World Cup Final and it was fitting that it should take place at Lang Park in Brisbane, where Slater would have daydreamed from a young age about having such a moment in front of his family, friends and fellow Queenslanders.
Little did he know that the Golden Boot of 2008 (and the premiership ring he won the year before) would be joined by the Clive Churchill Medal in 2009 (along with another premiership) and the 2010 Wally Lewis Medal for being Man-of-the-Match in game 3 of a series already won a fortnight earlier by Lockyer and Thurston heroics.
Billy Slater, most decorated of footballers, we salute you. All he needs is a victory on some reality TV show or other, to be the most celebrated player of all time.
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Last edited by Poupou Escobar; 04-10-2010 at 05:37 AM..
Billy Slater. Award winning fullback. Absolute deadsh*t who wets himself under pressure and time after time the judges throw him the professional rugby league version of a pity f**k.
State of Origin 2010
After being dropped from the QLD fullback job mid-series for having shockers not once but twice (in game 2 2005 and game 1 2008), Slater put in an excellent performance to claim Man-of-the-Match in the game 3 dead rubber of 2010. However despite doing little in games 1 and 2 he was given Origin Player of the Series.
But this wasn't the first time he was given an award when others deserved it more...
Grand Final 2009
Despite being outplayed by Cooper Cronk, Adam Blair and Fuifui Moimoi, Slater was named Clive Churchill Medal winner for 2009. What was his contribution?
A try backing up somebody else's break.
That's it.
He also threw the ball over the sideline under little pressure at the start of the second half, leading to Grothe's try a few minutes later (where he carried Slater over the line). He then watched as Joel Reddy pulled a bomb out of the air for another try on 69 minutes. Two minutes later Slater again proved ineffective as Moimoi carried him over the line for a try. A couple of minutes after that Slater spilled a bomb just 15 metres out from his own line, with the Eels only down by 6.
Why was Slater given the award? Probably because this truly was his finest grand final performance. Prior to this match Slater was involved in the greatest grand final loss in history, where he sucked arse along with all the other Melbourne players to the tune of a 40-0 scoreline.
The year prior to that, Slater was one of the few Storm players not to star in the 2007 grand final win.
Finally, the year before that - in 2006 - Slater gave away two penalties that led directly to successful kicks for goal, in the Storm's 2 tries apiece loss to Brisbane (15-8 final score). Both penalties Slater conceded with the score tied to put the Broncos ahead.
But the Clive Churchill isn't the only award Slater's won for finally-not-being-sh*t in a big match.
Golden Boot for Being the Best Player In The Universe - 2008
This is the award supposedly given for outstanding performances throughout the year.
How outstanding?
May 2008 - Slater plays so poorly he is one of the few QLD players ever dropped for poor performance when he is relegated to the Maroons bench for games 2 and 3 (games Queensland go on to win). Of course, this wasn't the first time (see above).
October 2008 - Five months later Billy is at it again, fumbling, complaining and throwing elbows as Manly run 8 unanswered tries past him.
But surely this wasn't enough to make Slater the clear winner of the Golden Boot. Surely he'd need to dig deep to pip Paul Carige for the coveted-yet-worthless award as the World's Best Player that year...
November 22, 2008 - just weeks after his grand final heroics, Slater appeared in the World Cup final in Brisbane where despite Australia being overwhelming favourites, he put in a performance of such bumbling ineptitude that many observers wondered if Carige hadn't received a late call-up.
This 2008 swansong of Slater's turned out to be the only time Australia had ever lost a World Cup Final and it was fitting that it should take place at Lang Park in Brisbane, where Slater would have daydreamed from a young age about having such a moment in front of his family, friends and fellow Queenslanders.
Little did he know that the Golden Boot of 2008 (and the premiership ring he won the year before) would be joined by the Clive Churchill Medal in 2009 (along with another premiership) and the 2010 Wally Lewis Medal for being Man-of-the-Match in game 3 of a series already won a fortnight earlier by Lockyer and Thurston heroics.
Billy Slater, most decorated of footballers, we salute you. All he needs is a victory on some reality TV show or other, to be the most celebrated player of all time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by Poupou Escobar; 04-10-2010 at 05:37 AM..