Drugs ban rugby star Terry Newton dead at 31

[OneEyedEagle]

[quote author=toovs link=topic=185503.msg298427#msg298427 date=1285632490]
he made his own choices so stiff sh%T i say selfish act anyway needed to harden up a bit a lot more poeple with bigger problems then that and there not killing thm selfs

it doesn't sound like you have had anyone close to you go through this or do this, because I tell you, your attitude would be different. My thoughts were similar to yours, but my world view changed significantly after my mate passed.

Unfortunatly for these poor people depression is not something you can just turn off because a mate has told you its silly.

That's the thing, people's reasons vary, and depression seems like the immediate point of blame, it just seems the easy thing to do. After February I am not convinced it was depression, I was the last mate to see him alive and shared a beer with my mate the night before he did it, he wasn't depressed, he just didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel after his marriage was breaking down, he thought that things would never improve.

He certainly wasn't depressed he just did not have the coping mechanisms since he had never been through a breakup before.

If he knew what it had done to his friends, he would never have done it, though it has brought some of us closer together. The thing is they just aren't thinking about the ones they leave behind and in some cases, it is foolishly done out of spite.

I saw his kids and wife yesterday, they popped around as they are moving to Brisbane, I feel so bad for his kids!

A day does not go by that I don't think of my mate, in fact I go an visit his grave every few weeks, he was a mad Saints supporter, so I fill him in on their progress. He was on my Oz tag team and honestly a nicer more giving bloke you would never meet.

Such a shame and such a waste, 3 young kids left behind that now have to cope with a second suicide in the family (my mates dad did the same thing a few years ago)
[/quote]

Well said Dan. Anyone who belittles depression or the consequences of a person's action really doesn't understand that this problem is a disease.

Having known several people who have taken their own life, i.e. relations, best mate and acquaintance, the hardest thing back then was getting all the warning signs and not acting on them to help.

Maybe I or others had stopped and spend an extra 30mins talking to the person and giving them the time of day may have changed what they were thinking.

A depressed person isn't thinking with a clear and logically head and there are many factors that actually trigger for one to take their own life. It's not something that is just done on the spur of the moment.

 

[Dan]

[quote author=Dan link=topic=185503.msg298428#msg298428 date=1285633043]
[quote author=toovs link=topic=185503.msg298427#msg298427 date=1285632490]
he made his own choices so stiff sh%T i say selfish act anyway needed to harden up a bit a lot more poeple with bigger problems then that and there not killing thm selfs

it doesn't sound like you have had anyone close to you go through this or do this, because I tell you, your attitude would be different. My thoughts were similar to yours, but my world view changed significantly after my mate passed.

Unfortunatly for these poor people depression is not something you can just turn off because a mate has told you its silly.

That's the thing, people's reasons vary, and depression seems like the immediate point of blame, it just seems the easy thing to do. After February I am not convinced it was depression, I was the last mate to see him alive and shared a beer with my mate the night before he did it, he wasn't depressed, he just didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel after his marriage was breaking down, he thought that things would never improve.

He certainly wasn't depressed he just did not have the coping mechanisms since he had never been through a breakup before.

If he knew what it had done to his friends, he would never have done it, though it has brought some of us closer together. The thing is they just aren't thinking about the ones they leave behind and in some cases, it is foolishly done out of spite.

I saw his kids and wife yesterday, they popped around as they are moving to Brisbane, I feel so bad for his kids!

A day does not go by that I don't think of my mate, in fact I go an visit his grave every few weeks, he was a mad Saints supporter, so I fill him in on their progress. He was on my Oz tag team and honestly a nicer more giving bloke you would never meet.

Such a shame and such a waste, 3 young kids left behind that now have to cope with a second suicide in the family (my mates dad did the same thing a few years ago)
[/quote]

Well said Dan. Anyone who belittles depression or the consequences of a person's action really doesn't understand that this problem is a disease.

Having known several people who have taken their own life, i.e. relations, best mate and acquaintance, the hardest thing back then was getting all the warning signs and not acting on them to help.

Maybe I or others had stopped and spend an extra 30mins talking to the person and giving them the time of day may have changed what they were thinking.

A depressed person isn't thinking with a clear and logically head and there are many factors that actually trigger for one to take their own life. It's not something that is just done on the spur of the moment.

[/quote]

No matter how much time you spent or what you did there is nothing you could have done. I kick myself everyday, being the last to see this guy that I didn't spend more time with them and relive the things I could have said a lot. But over time I have realised that nothing I could have said or done would have changed a thing

 

[Kiwi Eagle]

he made his own choices so stiff sh%T i say selfish act anyway needed to harden up a bit a lot more poeple with bigger problems then that and there not killing thm selfs

I read plenty of **** on this site, but that is right up there

Shocking news, RIP Terry

 

[SeaEagleRock8]

Toovs thinks it's selfish because everyone is doomed to live. NFI
People who have depression obviously suffer, but so do those who are left behind. Dan you are right I believe in saying there is no more you could have done, mental illness is real, also it's not that uncommon, although it it is only recently being acknowledged as an organic condition.