I have borderline personality disorder (BPD). AMA, please.
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patorick2010
Mr BPD
Published again. So grateful to Rita, Paul, the Australian BPD Foundation and the BPD Awareness Week for making this increasing awareness all happen.
http://www.bpdawareness.com.au/blog/patricks-story/
1/10/2017 11:31 AM
Patrick, 33, has taken back control of his life
I was diagnosed with depression in 2003 and then, in 2007, with BPD. It took a really bad relationship break-up, and being hospitalized in psych wards, for that diagnosis to come around.
In a way it was a relief to find out that this is what I had, and how to manage it. And it helped explain a lot of my behavior in relationships and with friends, which to this day I feel bad about and really regret. I had a lot of trouble with boundaries; saying things I shouldn’t have said, doing things I shouldn’t have done, getting ‘up close and personal’ with people too quickly, taking advantage of people, emotionally manipulating people.
Fear of abandonment was also a big thing. With BPD I was always presuming someone was about to abandon me or break up with me. I was always anxious and worried so it was really difficult to maintain friendships and relationships and hard to get comfortable in social situations and at school and university. It’s a really intense feeling and the emotions are always there. That was what led to the diagnosis.
While being diagnosed helped in a way it was hard as well because so few people knew about BPD, and that’s still the case really. But it’s a bit easier for me now. I was diagnosed 10 years ago when I was 23 – so I’ve had ten years of learning about myself. And therapies like DBT and CBT (dialectical behavior therapy and cognitive behavior therapy) have helped me so much. And I’ve been so lucky because I have had some really good doctors and mental health clinicians who have helped me over the years. I’m at a stage now where I can reflect on things I’ve done but also on the opportunities I’ve been given. I’m grateful now for the things I have.
This may not be for everyone but sharing my BPD story publicly, and not hiding behind my mental health issues, has helped me too. ‘This is what I have,’ I tell people, ‘but it’s not the end of the world.’ Life goes on and you can get better. It’s been challenging but I’ve learned to manage it over the years and get better with it and I’ve made so many friends this year.
Therapy – and medication – has made a huge difference, though it was hard the first few years. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me. I thought I could overcome my issues myself, by researching on the computer. But you’ve got to work with your doctor and psychologist. It really helps to find one you click with, one you trust, one who understands and validates you. There are still ups and downs but I can now support myself and I know what my triggers are, and I can accept my emotions and not take them out on other people.
But you need more than therapy or medication to improve your life. You’ve still got to take control and responsibility for actions. So I don’t drink or take recreational drugs. I don’t have a mobile phone either. This allows me to keep boundaries with friends and not burden people with my emotional issues on a day-to-day basis. Yoga and meditation also help. Then there’s Lego therapy! I’m so lucky because I’ve found something I’m passionate about. I’ve got back into collecting Lego and Transformers. One of my jobs is selling Lego and Transformers on eBay. I could spend all day playing with Lego, assembling sets and selling them. I enjoy this, I can make money from it, and I’m passionate about it. A lot of my friends work 9-5 and aren’t passionate at all about their work. I’m grateful I get to do what I want to do.
No-one is perfect. I’ve got a lot of mental health issues and physical health issues. But all I can be is be the best person I can be and minimize the negative effects I have on myself and others. To just be mindful of who I am and what I say and what I do. I don’t want to make excuses for myself, or feel sorry for myself, or go back into hiding and block people out of my life. I’m proud of who I am. I like who I am and, despite the issues I’ve faced, I want to be the best person I can be.
Later,
Pat.
[email protected]
http://stores.ebay.com.au/patorick
http://forums.leagueunlimited.com/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama.461654/
https://silvertails.net/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama-please.51172/
https://themighty.com/author/patrick-flynn/
https://www.facebook.com/patorick.flynn.1
http://www.bpdawareness.com.au/blog/patricks-story/
1/10/2017 11:31 AM
Patrick, 33, has taken back control of his life
I was diagnosed with depression in 2003 and then, in 2007, with BPD. It took a really bad relationship break-up, and being hospitalized in psych wards, for that diagnosis to come around.
In a way it was a relief to find out that this is what I had, and how to manage it. And it helped explain a lot of my behavior in relationships and with friends, which to this day I feel bad about and really regret. I had a lot of trouble with boundaries; saying things I shouldn’t have said, doing things I shouldn’t have done, getting ‘up close and personal’ with people too quickly, taking advantage of people, emotionally manipulating people.
Fear of abandonment was also a big thing. With BPD I was always presuming someone was about to abandon me or break up with me. I was always anxious and worried so it was really difficult to maintain friendships and relationships and hard to get comfortable in social situations and at school and university. It’s a really intense feeling and the emotions are always there. That was what led to the diagnosis.
While being diagnosed helped in a way it was hard as well because so few people knew about BPD, and that’s still the case really. But it’s a bit easier for me now. I was diagnosed 10 years ago when I was 23 – so I’ve had ten years of learning about myself. And therapies like DBT and CBT (dialectical behavior therapy and cognitive behavior therapy) have helped me so much. And I’ve been so lucky because I have had some really good doctors and mental health clinicians who have helped me over the years. I’m at a stage now where I can reflect on things I’ve done but also on the opportunities I’ve been given. I’m grateful now for the things I have.
This may not be for everyone but sharing my BPD story publicly, and not hiding behind my mental health issues, has helped me too. ‘This is what I have,’ I tell people, ‘but it’s not the end of the world.’ Life goes on and you can get better. It’s been challenging but I’ve learned to manage it over the years and get better with it and I’ve made so many friends this year.
Therapy – and medication – has made a huge difference, though it was hard the first few years. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me. I thought I could overcome my issues myself, by researching on the computer. But you’ve got to work with your doctor and psychologist. It really helps to find one you click with, one you trust, one who understands and validates you. There are still ups and downs but I can now support myself and I know what my triggers are, and I can accept my emotions and not take them out on other people.
But you need more than therapy or medication to improve your life. You’ve still got to take control and responsibility for actions. So I don’t drink or take recreational drugs. I don’t have a mobile phone either. This allows me to keep boundaries with friends and not burden people with my emotional issues on a day-to-day basis. Yoga and meditation also help. Then there’s Lego therapy! I’m so lucky because I’ve found something I’m passionate about. I’ve got back into collecting Lego and Transformers. One of my jobs is selling Lego and Transformers on eBay. I could spend all day playing with Lego, assembling sets and selling them. I enjoy this, I can make money from it, and I’m passionate about it. A lot of my friends work 9-5 and aren’t passionate at all about their work. I’m grateful I get to do what I want to do.
No-one is perfect. I’ve got a lot of mental health issues and physical health issues. But all I can be is be the best person I can be and minimize the negative effects I have on myself and others. To just be mindful of who I am and what I say and what I do. I don’t want to make excuses for myself, or feel sorry for myself, or go back into hiding and block people out of my life. I’m proud of who I am. I like who I am and, despite the issues I’ve faced, I want to be the best person I can be.
Later,
Pat.
[email protected]
http://stores.ebay.com.au/patorick
http://forums.leagueunlimited.com/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama.461654/
https://silvertails.net/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama-please.51172/
https://themighty.com/author/patrick-flynn/
https://www.facebook.com/patorick.flynn.1
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
Dissolving our self-importance ~ Pema Chödron
http://justdharma.com/s/ycoku
The fixed idea that we have about ourselves as solid and separate from each other is painfully limiting. It is possible to move through the drama of our lives without believing so earnestly in the character that we play. That we take ourselves so seriously, that we are so absurdly important in our own minds, is a problem for us. We feel justified in being annoyed with everything. We feel justified in denigrating ourselves or in feeling that we are more clever than other people. Self-importance hurts us, limiting us to the narrow world of our likes and dislikes. We end up bored to death with ourselves and our world. We end up never satisfied.
We have two alternatives: either we question our beliefs — or we don’t. Either we accept our fixed versions of reality, or we begin to challenge them. In Buddha’s opinion, to train in staying open and curious — to train in dissolving our assumptions and beliefs — is the best use of our human lives.
– Pema Chödron
from the book "The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times"
ISBN: 978-1590302651 - http://amzn.to/15MIekU
Pema Chödron on the web:
http://pemachodronfoundation.org/
http://www.shambhala.com/heartadvice/
http://blog.shambhala.com/catego…/daily-wisdom/pema-chodron/
Pema Chödron biography:
http://www.gampoabbey.org/pema-bio.php
http://justdharma.com/s/ycoku
The fixed idea that we have about ourselves as solid and separate from each other is painfully limiting. It is possible to move through the drama of our lives without believing so earnestly in the character that we play. That we take ourselves so seriously, that we are so absurdly important in our own minds, is a problem for us. We feel justified in being annoyed with everything. We feel justified in denigrating ourselves or in feeling that we are more clever than other people. Self-importance hurts us, limiting us to the narrow world of our likes and dislikes. We end up bored to death with ourselves and our world. We end up never satisfied.
We have two alternatives: either we question our beliefs — or we don’t. Either we accept our fixed versions of reality, or we begin to challenge them. In Buddha’s opinion, to train in staying open and curious — to train in dissolving our assumptions and beliefs — is the best use of our human lives.
– Pema Chödron
from the book "The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times"
ISBN: 978-1590302651 - http://amzn.to/15MIekU
Pema Chödron on the web:
http://pemachodronfoundation.org/
http://www.shambhala.com/heartadvice/
http://blog.shambhala.com/catego…/daily-wisdom/pema-chodron/
Pema Chödron biography:
http://www.gampoabbey.org/pema-bio.php
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
What does BPD feel like?
https://www.quora.com/What-does-BPD-feel-like
By Brian Barnett, Interpreter. Artist. Wilderness guru. BPD
Answered Oct 7
It feels like absolutely nothing. When you’re walking around ignorant to it, not knowing what Borderline Personality Disorder is, much less that you have it, it feels like absolutely nothing.
You’re not conscious of it. You’re not aware that it is affecting your emotions, that it’s influencing your behaviors, or that you are any different whatsoever from any other perfectly normal person on the planet.
What do people feel like today who will learn in ten years that they’ve had a tumor living in them all this time? They feel like normal people. Maybe later they’ll look back and realize that perhaps the little ache after supper wasn’t a normal thing, or that the weight loss wasn’t due to the new job.
After one emerges from ignorance and realizes all the negative effects of Borderline Personality Disorder, that is when things feel weird. For example, you realize all that past emotional turmoil was way outside the realm of ‘normal’, and completely unnecessary.
You feel sad for having been a puppet for so long to the lasting effects of emotional negligence and abuse in childhood, which you had never before realized was anything other than the ‘normal’ way families show love.
You mourn life’s losses for new reasons. Divorces, romantic opportunities, friendships. They’re not just losses anymore, they’re losses your ignorance caused and earlier education/intervention could have prevented.
You struggle to catch up to normal, appropriate emotional development for your age group, which includes settling into your real identity and letting it appropriately mature.
It feels like lots of things in recovery. But when BPD is developing inside of you and even while it is at its zenith, it feels like absolutely, positively nothing. You can’t feel what you’re completely unaware of.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-BPD-feel-like
https://www.quora.com/What-does-BPD-feel-like
By Brian Barnett, Interpreter. Artist. Wilderness guru. BPD
Answered Oct 7
It feels like absolutely nothing. When you’re walking around ignorant to it, not knowing what Borderline Personality Disorder is, much less that you have it, it feels like absolutely nothing.
You’re not conscious of it. You’re not aware that it is affecting your emotions, that it’s influencing your behaviors, or that you are any different whatsoever from any other perfectly normal person on the planet.
What do people feel like today who will learn in ten years that they’ve had a tumor living in them all this time? They feel like normal people. Maybe later they’ll look back and realize that perhaps the little ache after supper wasn’t a normal thing, or that the weight loss wasn’t due to the new job.
After one emerges from ignorance and realizes all the negative effects of Borderline Personality Disorder, that is when things feel weird. For example, you realize all that past emotional turmoil was way outside the realm of ‘normal’, and completely unnecessary.
You feel sad for having been a puppet for so long to the lasting effects of emotional negligence and abuse in childhood, which you had never before realized was anything other than the ‘normal’ way families show love.
You mourn life’s losses for new reasons. Divorces, romantic opportunities, friendships. They’re not just losses anymore, they’re losses your ignorance caused and earlier education/intervention could have prevented.
You struggle to catch up to normal, appropriate emotional development for your age group, which includes settling into your real identity and letting it appropriately mature.
It feels like lots of things in recovery. But when BPD is developing inside of you and even while it is at its zenith, it feels like absolutely, positively nothing. You can’t feel what you’re completely unaware of.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-BPD-feel-like
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
I read somewhere that the incidents leading to borderline personality disorder usually occur before age two. Is this true?
https://www.quora.com/I-read-somewh...der-usually-occur-before-age-two-Is-this-true
Ella Alink, studied Psychology at The Open University
Answered Oct 22
Yes, this is the case. The seeds for bpd are planted between birth and the age of 3–5 years old. The essence of bpd is found in the very fact that a child's basic needs were not met, resulting in problems with attachment and emotion regulation. If you don’t learn this properly as a kid due to an inaccurate example from your parent(s), this has it’s impact throughout every other relationship you encounter for the rest of your life.
It does not matter if you cannot remember anything before the age of 2, or if you think you had a good childhood without abuse or trauma. It can happen so subtle that you are not even aware of it. Most of the time it suddenly flashes it’s head around puberty (lot’s of anger and pushing against all boundaries) or sometimes even later after an impactful event that somehow ‘kick-started’ the bpd that you carried with you all of the time already.
You could see it this way; our minds are like computers. We are all born with a certain hardware unit, but what creates you as a person, and develops your personality, is the software that is going to be installed on the base unit.
People with BPD are certainly not crazy, there is nothing wrong with their mind. More often they are extremely intelligent. However, there is a software program installed without their awareness that is messing with their nervous system and emotions. This program is running 24/7 UNCONSCIOUSLY!
There could be a genetic predisposition (genes with more sensitivity to stress and or anxiety) but BPD is not genetic, it is mainly due to nurture. And the first 3–5 years are essential for a child to develop a solid identity, learn empathy etc.
You probably know the film ‘The Matrixx’. What if something was planted in your head before you were even old enough to understand? Do you think you would be able to recall this and act on it? Of course not! So why do you think it is so hard to treat bpd? You first have to become aware and willing to take responsibility. This can take 20, 30, 40, 50 years, and some people never will.
It took me 35 years to become aware of my ‘software’ and I am still learning.
The self sabotaging aspect is big as well. As soon as you find the software, a self destruction button is activated at the same time. The more you move towards improving/ getting better, the more the self sabotage kicks in, because stability is freaking scary if you are not used to it (hence all the drama, chaos, instable relationships etc…it’s messy, but at least it feels familiar and kind of ‘safe’. Changing this means losing control, which equals severe agony, panic etc in a way that freezes you or numbs you).
https://www.quora.com/I-read-somewh...der-usually-occur-before-age-two-Is-this-true
Ella Alink, studied Psychology at The Open University
Answered Oct 22
Yes, this is the case. The seeds for bpd are planted between birth and the age of 3–5 years old. The essence of bpd is found in the very fact that a child's basic needs were not met, resulting in problems with attachment and emotion regulation. If you don’t learn this properly as a kid due to an inaccurate example from your parent(s), this has it’s impact throughout every other relationship you encounter for the rest of your life.
It does not matter if you cannot remember anything before the age of 2, or if you think you had a good childhood without abuse or trauma. It can happen so subtle that you are not even aware of it. Most of the time it suddenly flashes it’s head around puberty (lot’s of anger and pushing against all boundaries) or sometimes even later after an impactful event that somehow ‘kick-started’ the bpd that you carried with you all of the time already.
You could see it this way; our minds are like computers. We are all born with a certain hardware unit, but what creates you as a person, and develops your personality, is the software that is going to be installed on the base unit.
People with BPD are certainly not crazy, there is nothing wrong with their mind. More often they are extremely intelligent. However, there is a software program installed without their awareness that is messing with their nervous system and emotions. This program is running 24/7 UNCONSCIOUSLY!
There could be a genetic predisposition (genes with more sensitivity to stress and or anxiety) but BPD is not genetic, it is mainly due to nurture. And the first 3–5 years are essential for a child to develop a solid identity, learn empathy etc.
You probably know the film ‘The Matrixx’. What if something was planted in your head before you were even old enough to understand? Do you think you would be able to recall this and act on it? Of course not! So why do you think it is so hard to treat bpd? You first have to become aware and willing to take responsibility. This can take 20, 30, 40, 50 years, and some people never will.
It took me 35 years to become aware of my ‘software’ and I am still learning.
The self sabotaging aspect is big as well. As soon as you find the software, a self destruction button is activated at the same time. The more you move towards improving/ getting better, the more the self sabotage kicks in, because stability is freaking scary if you are not used to it (hence all the drama, chaos, instable relationships etc…it’s messy, but at least it feels familiar and kind of ‘safe’. Changing this means losing control, which equals severe agony, panic etc in a way that freezes you or numbs you).
patorick2010
Mr BPD
And Mexico will pay for it.Our Manly is good at next year for we wall beat some best teams for at the finals an hey wall be taking about out Manly for ever!
patorick2010
Mr BPD
Yep, hopefully we do better next year, keep working together and improving.
It's just a game though.
It's just a game though.
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
Hello Patrick,
Your story resonates with me as I too have suffered from severe mental health issues, depression, anxiety, and years of schizophrenia. I hadn't received a proper diagnosis at the time I created the artwork about BPD, I strongly suspected I had it back then but I was wrong. Schizophrenia has stolen seven years of my youth and a part of my identity, led me to try and steal my own life. I am now nearly recovered from it at 26 years old (I was unresponsive to medication, I ultimately found my own ways towards recovery by reading about it and learning about neuroscience, health and medicine, and specifically through the findings of neurologist Natasha Campbell)... I now suffer from other physical health issues, debilitating neuropathy and chronic pain from infectious encephalitis and severe neurological issues, I feel suicidal like never before.
I can relate to your personal story in the sense we have both struggled with severe mental and physical conditions and I now how soul crushing these are... I empathise with your situation, it does hurt me to hear your story. I also know too well what suicidal ideation is, my conditions have also ruined every aspect of my life, relationships, studies, I have spent my youth isolated mostly and I still am. I have only two friends left, I spend my days in bed because of neuropathic pain, I cannot go out nor walk and I am living every day with the trauma and memories of years of psychosis, dissociation and schizophrenia that still haunts me. I have anger outburst, I break things, spend nights screaming, I am very desperate and in so much physical and mental pain...
I have never met not had the opportunity to discuss with anyone with schizophrenia or any severe mental health issue therefore I would appreciate discussing with your further, maybe we can support each other and share ways and advice on how to deal with our mental and physical condition.
I want to ask you out of curiosity if you don't mind, are you being treated for lupus? What about your BDP? In what country do you live?
How do you cope with suicidal ideation/depression on a regular basis? Do you share your mental issues with friends and others? I am in denial of my conditions, it is difficult for me to talk to anyone about it, my family doesn't know either, I feel ashamed of being different and sick.
Thanks for reading. I hope you get to see this message and reply to it.
Hey,
Thanks for the e-mail and apologies for my delayed reply. Been sitting on this message for a few days to fully digest it. I’m so sorry to hear about your issues with schizophrenia. I am very fortunate not to have any issues with schizophrenia but I know some people that do and can empathize very strongly with their (and your) mental health issues. Not too mention your encephalitis and severe neurological issues. You are so brave and strong for surviving this. And sharing what has happened to me so openly.
Are you being treated for lupus? Yes, I see a rheumatologist every three months and am on two different medications for that.
What about your BDP? BPD. I’ve learned to manage it better over the years. Still not anywhere near prefect, but have gotten much better with identifying my emotional triggers, radical acceptance, letting go and not taking my mental issues out on other people.
In what country do you live? Australia.
How do you cope with suicidal ideation/depression on a regular basis? Mindfulness. Meditation. Yoga. Diet (vegetarian). Exercise. Playing with Lego. Selling Lego and Transformers sets on eBay. Working. Playing sport. Reading. Writing. Watching TV. Listening too uplifting music.
Do you share your mental issues with friends and others? Yes. A lot. I blog about BPD here. I was in our local paper earlier this year. I am in a local mental health group that meets once a month. A lot of my friends also have mental health issues. Try to reach out to these people as much as possible to share what works for me.
Anymore questions? I’m an open book who is here to help (if possible).
Later,
Pat.
[email protected]
http://stores.ebay.com.au/patorick
http://forums.leagueunlimited.com/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama.461654/
https://silvertails.net/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama-please.51172/
https://themighty.com/author/patrick-flynn/
https://www.facebook.com/patorick.flynn.1
Your story resonates with me as I too have suffered from severe mental health issues, depression, anxiety, and years of schizophrenia. I hadn't received a proper diagnosis at the time I created the artwork about BPD, I strongly suspected I had it back then but I was wrong. Schizophrenia has stolen seven years of my youth and a part of my identity, led me to try and steal my own life. I am now nearly recovered from it at 26 years old (I was unresponsive to medication, I ultimately found my own ways towards recovery by reading about it and learning about neuroscience, health and medicine, and specifically through the findings of neurologist Natasha Campbell)... I now suffer from other physical health issues, debilitating neuropathy and chronic pain from infectious encephalitis and severe neurological issues, I feel suicidal like never before.
I can relate to your personal story in the sense we have both struggled with severe mental and physical conditions and I now how soul crushing these are... I empathise with your situation, it does hurt me to hear your story. I also know too well what suicidal ideation is, my conditions have also ruined every aspect of my life, relationships, studies, I have spent my youth isolated mostly and I still am. I have only two friends left, I spend my days in bed because of neuropathic pain, I cannot go out nor walk and I am living every day with the trauma and memories of years of psychosis, dissociation and schizophrenia that still haunts me. I have anger outburst, I break things, spend nights screaming, I am very desperate and in so much physical and mental pain...
I have never met not had the opportunity to discuss with anyone with schizophrenia or any severe mental health issue therefore I would appreciate discussing with your further, maybe we can support each other and share ways and advice on how to deal with our mental and physical condition.
I want to ask you out of curiosity if you don't mind, are you being treated for lupus? What about your BDP? In what country do you live?
How do you cope with suicidal ideation/depression on a regular basis? Do you share your mental issues with friends and others? I am in denial of my conditions, it is difficult for me to talk to anyone about it, my family doesn't know either, I feel ashamed of being different and sick.
Thanks for reading. I hope you get to see this message and reply to it.
Hey,
Thanks for the e-mail and apologies for my delayed reply. Been sitting on this message for a few days to fully digest it. I’m so sorry to hear about your issues with schizophrenia. I am very fortunate not to have any issues with schizophrenia but I know some people that do and can empathize very strongly with their (and your) mental health issues. Not too mention your encephalitis and severe neurological issues. You are so brave and strong for surviving this. And sharing what has happened to me so openly.
Are you being treated for lupus? Yes, I see a rheumatologist every three months and am on two different medications for that.
What about your BDP? BPD. I’ve learned to manage it better over the years. Still not anywhere near prefect, but have gotten much better with identifying my emotional triggers, radical acceptance, letting go and not taking my mental issues out on other people.
In what country do you live? Australia.
How do you cope with suicidal ideation/depression on a regular basis? Mindfulness. Meditation. Yoga. Diet (vegetarian). Exercise. Playing with Lego. Selling Lego and Transformers sets on eBay. Working. Playing sport. Reading. Writing. Watching TV. Listening too uplifting music.
Do you share your mental issues with friends and others? Yes. A lot. I blog about BPD here. I was in our local paper earlier this year. I am in a local mental health group that meets once a month. A lot of my friends also have mental health issues. Try to reach out to these people as much as possible to share what works for me.
Anymore questions? I’m an open book who is here to help (if possible).
Later,
Pat.
[email protected]
http://stores.ebay.com.au/patorick
http://forums.leagueunlimited.com/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama.461654/
https://silvertails.net/threads/i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-ama-please.51172/
https://themighty.com/author/patrick-flynn/
https://www.facebook.com/patorick.flynn.1
patorick2010
Mr BPD
How do you deal with borderline personality disorder on a daily basis?
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-deal-with-borderline-personality-disorder-on-a-daily-basis
By Suhayl Kodiriy (studied Electrical Engineering & Computer Science)
Updated Nov 9
After dealing with this issue for the majority of my life, I found some very helpful methods of maintaining healthy relationships with other non-BPD people.
1. Force myself not to care when I first meet someone. When I say not to care, I mean not to care the way someone with BPD cares. Which is too much. I recognized that normal people never put all their eggs in one emotional basket when it comes to relationships. I know that we’ll meet once and then probably never again. There’s no need to put my soul into this person.
2. Force myself not to care the second time I meet someone. Apparently, normal people start acting friendlier the second time, but they still don’t develop strong emotional connections.
3. Keep repeating that until you’ve spent enough time with the person to know for sure if they’re actually interested in having a friendship with you. I used to try to become friends with people who seemed like they cared, but in reality just said things for the fun of it. Those were not fun experiences. I got terribly hurt.
4. If I ever suddenly have the idea that I am not good enough and that people don’t deserve me, I repeat in my brain at least 100 times: you’re having a bad phase right now. It’s not true. It’s not true. It’s not true. Just wait. It will pass. You’re not a horrible person. I also hide my phone and computer somewhere so that I don’t do anything stupid. I go on a walk if I can, and sing outside.
5. When I feel extremely alone, I write music. Music soothes the pain. It gets it out of my mind and into my fingers. Maybe you can find something you like doing to distract yourself.
6. Talking to people and writing really helps. It makes me feel less alone, even with the extreme distances separating us.
I hope this helps. I heard that therapy really helps, too. Even when I feel alone and people don’t respond quickly to my messages, I remember that everyone has busy lives. Work, school, etc…
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-deal-with-borderline-personality-disorder-on-a-daily-basis
By Suhayl Kodiriy (studied Electrical Engineering & Computer Science)
Updated Nov 9
After dealing with this issue for the majority of my life, I found some very helpful methods of maintaining healthy relationships with other non-BPD people.
1. Force myself not to care when I first meet someone. When I say not to care, I mean not to care the way someone with BPD cares. Which is too much. I recognized that normal people never put all their eggs in one emotional basket when it comes to relationships. I know that we’ll meet once and then probably never again. There’s no need to put my soul into this person.
2. Force myself not to care the second time I meet someone. Apparently, normal people start acting friendlier the second time, but they still don’t develop strong emotional connections.
3. Keep repeating that until you’ve spent enough time with the person to know for sure if they’re actually interested in having a friendship with you. I used to try to become friends with people who seemed like they cared, but in reality just said things for the fun of it. Those were not fun experiences. I got terribly hurt.
4. If I ever suddenly have the idea that I am not good enough and that people don’t deserve me, I repeat in my brain at least 100 times: you’re having a bad phase right now. It’s not true. It’s not true. It’s not true. Just wait. It will pass. You’re not a horrible person. I also hide my phone and computer somewhere so that I don’t do anything stupid. I go on a walk if I can, and sing outside.
5. When I feel extremely alone, I write music. Music soothes the pain. It gets it out of my mind and into my fingers. Maybe you can find something you like doing to distract yourself.
6. Talking to people and writing really helps. It makes me feel less alone, even with the extreme distances separating us.
I hope this helps. I heard that therapy really helps, too. Even when I feel alone and people don’t respond quickly to my messages, I remember that everyone has busy lives. Work, school, etc…
| Team | P | W | L | PD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
8 | 7 | 1 | 109 | 16 |
|
8 | 7 | 1 | 56 | 16 |
|
8 | 6 | 2 | 66 | 14 |
|
8 | 5 | 3 | 51 | 12 |
|
9 | 5 | 3 | 37 | 11 |
|
9 | 5 | 4 | 95 | 10 |
|
9 | 5 | 4 | 42 | 10 |
|
8 | 4 | 4 | 25 | 10 |
|
9 | 5 | 4 | -14 | 10 |
|
9 | 4 | 5 | -16 | 8 |
|
9 | 4 | 5 | -19 | 8 |
|
8 | 3 | 5 | -55 | 8 |
|
9 | 4 | 5 | -70 | 8 |
|
9 | 3 | 5 | 11 | 7 |
|
8 | 2 | 6 | -63 | 6 |
|
8 | 1 | 7 | -89 | 4 |
|
8 | 1 | 7 | -166 | 4 |
