I have borderline personality disorder (BPD). AMA, please.
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patorick2010
Mr BPD
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/unpl...-personality-disorder-social-survival-skills/
Borderline Personality Disorder: Social Survival Skills
By Sonia Neale
Borderline Personality Disorder is not just about mental illness and emotional distress, it is also about social skills (or lack of them), empathy, manners, conflict resolution and self-care. Most children learn these vital social skills early on at pre and primary school where they observe other children’s behaviour, learn a “theory of mind” or how other children think and feel (mentalising) and experience compassion and empathy for others. These things come naturally to them.
But some children, through no fault of their own, are unable to learn and remain totally clueless about how to survive socially in the playground. These are the kids who suffer social neglect, rejection and abandonment. These are the children who need a step by step guide or a “recipe” on how to learn empathy, how to be a team player, how to get on with other children, negotiation skills, conflict resolution, the rough and tumble of give and take and sharing toys with grace and dignity.
These kids need to learn that when this happens, this is the correct response. I was not one of those naturally cluey children; I lived in social Siberia most of my school life and became a library refugee.
Here are five survival techniques desperately needed when suffering from BPD:
SOCIAL SKILLS
Some people with mental illness lack manners and social skills, and this is not their fault. While I have no personal evidence to back this up, I know that when you are barely surviving the environment, it is near impossible to pick up on social cues from other children that you are not conforming or cooperating and that your behaviour is socially unacceptable.
When this carries on into adulthood it means job losses, social exclusion, lack of friends and relationship difficulties. However, having a mental illness and having non-acceptable social skills are two different things. I have seen many badly behaved people not taking responsibility for their actions, blaming everyone but themselves, simply because they lack manners, dignity and basic social skills.
It is never too late to learn, it is never too late to be aware of your own role in your mood swings and emotional distress.
EMPATHY
There is much internet anecdotal evidence which correlates Borderline Personality Disorder with Asperger’s Spectrum Disorder. People with Autism (high functioning in the case of Asperger’s Spectrum Disorder) have a distinct lack of empathy and mentalisation ability due to their neural wiring. But empathy along with social skills can be taught recipe-style by a competent therapist.
If there is a BPD/Asperger’s Spectrum Disorder correlation then the lack of empathy Professor Simon Baron Cohen states is part of the BPD syndrome may instead be due to the Asperger’s factor. I would appreciate anyone reading this to enlighten me further with a scientific evidence based journal paper (if one exists).
MANNERS
Even people with BPD know how to say please and thank you. But in times of crisis and distress, manners can easily get forgotten. I know, I’ve displayed appalling manners when cognitively/emotionally challenged. Part of the process of getting well is remembering manners.
Even if you have to carry a sheet of paper around with correct responses to various social situations — and I have done this — then it is worth it. Once I learned to remember my manners and took responsibility for my lack of them at times, I started to get on with people, reduce my mental distress, avoid much conflict and start to feel like a regular member of the human race.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Two words in the English language that can avert national disasters, world wars, nuclear holocausts, unemployment, divorce and ripped up relationships, and they are “I’m sorry.” You could, if you wanted, add, “I made a mistake.” How empowering, how liberating those words are. Saying this means you are responsible, you have taken ownership of your words and actions. Then look at yourself and think, “Aha! That’s where I went wrong, next time I will do it differently.”
Also, use statements like: I feel…when you…because it makes me feel… According to Norman Cousins, wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.
SELF-CARE
When I get something right, like an apology or taking responsibility for something that didn’t go well, I reward myself with flowers, an ornament, a book or something to remind myself I got it right, helped someone, said something, avoided saying something, or added value to the office harmony.
Being a person with a BPD diagnosis, I gave up smoking and drinking, starting eating well and exercising regularly (80 percent of the time). I cannot stress enough that there is a poisonous connection between drugs, alcohol, smoking, eating unhealthy foods and mental irritability. The best gifts you can give yourself if you have a BPD diagnosis also includes routine, regular sleep and tuning into your sixth sense about how you feel internally. HALT if you feel that gut feeling. Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired? HALT and sort yourself out. Sit down for five minutes and evaluate your inner self.
Social skills and mental illness are separate entities. Don’t blame yourself or beat yourself up on either count; learn what manners and social skills are. Become your own expert on yourself and watch yourself grow and mature emotionally.
I work in mental health and I have seen this and experienced it. It is a thing of beauty to behold.
Sonia Neale was recently awarded the Inaugural Barbara Hocking SANE Australia Fellowship to study and research Borderline Personality Disorder overseas in the USA, Canada, UK and Ireland. Her previous Psych Central blog was called Therapy Unplugged. She is the author of two books, The Bad Mother’s Revenge and Death by Teenager, both published by ABC Books/Harper Collins. She lives in Western Australia, is married with three adult children, has studied psychoanalytic psychotherapy, has a Certificate IV in Mental Health and is studying for a Psychology/Counselling degree. She currently works as a peer support worker in the mental health field.
Borderline Personality Disorder: Social Survival Skills
By Sonia Neale
Borderline Personality Disorder is not just about mental illness and emotional distress, it is also about social skills (or lack of them), empathy, manners, conflict resolution and self-care. Most children learn these vital social skills early on at pre and primary school where they observe other children’s behaviour, learn a “theory of mind” or how other children think and feel (mentalising) and experience compassion and empathy for others. These things come naturally to them.
But some children, through no fault of their own, are unable to learn and remain totally clueless about how to survive socially in the playground. These are the kids who suffer social neglect, rejection and abandonment. These are the children who need a step by step guide or a “recipe” on how to learn empathy, how to be a team player, how to get on with other children, negotiation skills, conflict resolution, the rough and tumble of give and take and sharing toys with grace and dignity.
These kids need to learn that when this happens, this is the correct response. I was not one of those naturally cluey children; I lived in social Siberia most of my school life and became a library refugee.
Here are five survival techniques desperately needed when suffering from BPD:
SOCIAL SKILLS
Some people with mental illness lack manners and social skills, and this is not their fault. While I have no personal evidence to back this up, I know that when you are barely surviving the environment, it is near impossible to pick up on social cues from other children that you are not conforming or cooperating and that your behaviour is socially unacceptable.
When this carries on into adulthood it means job losses, social exclusion, lack of friends and relationship difficulties. However, having a mental illness and having non-acceptable social skills are two different things. I have seen many badly behaved people not taking responsibility for their actions, blaming everyone but themselves, simply because they lack manners, dignity and basic social skills.
It is never too late to learn, it is never too late to be aware of your own role in your mood swings and emotional distress.
EMPATHY
There is much internet anecdotal evidence which correlates Borderline Personality Disorder with Asperger’s Spectrum Disorder. People with Autism (high functioning in the case of Asperger’s Spectrum Disorder) have a distinct lack of empathy and mentalisation ability due to their neural wiring. But empathy along with social skills can be taught recipe-style by a competent therapist.
If there is a BPD/Asperger’s Spectrum Disorder correlation then the lack of empathy Professor Simon Baron Cohen states is part of the BPD syndrome may instead be due to the Asperger’s factor. I would appreciate anyone reading this to enlighten me further with a scientific evidence based journal paper (if one exists).
MANNERS
Even people with BPD know how to say please and thank you. But in times of crisis and distress, manners can easily get forgotten. I know, I’ve displayed appalling manners when cognitively/emotionally challenged. Part of the process of getting well is remembering manners.
Even if you have to carry a sheet of paper around with correct responses to various social situations — and I have done this — then it is worth it. Once I learned to remember my manners and took responsibility for my lack of them at times, I started to get on with people, reduce my mental distress, avoid much conflict and start to feel like a regular member of the human race.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Two words in the English language that can avert national disasters, world wars, nuclear holocausts, unemployment, divorce and ripped up relationships, and they are “I’m sorry.” You could, if you wanted, add, “I made a mistake.” How empowering, how liberating those words are. Saying this means you are responsible, you have taken ownership of your words and actions. Then look at yourself and think, “Aha! That’s where I went wrong, next time I will do it differently.”
Also, use statements like: I feel…when you…because it makes me feel… According to Norman Cousins, wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.
SELF-CARE
When I get something right, like an apology or taking responsibility for something that didn’t go well, I reward myself with flowers, an ornament, a book or something to remind myself I got it right, helped someone, said something, avoided saying something, or added value to the office harmony.
Being a person with a BPD diagnosis, I gave up smoking and drinking, starting eating well and exercising regularly (80 percent of the time). I cannot stress enough that there is a poisonous connection between drugs, alcohol, smoking, eating unhealthy foods and mental irritability. The best gifts you can give yourself if you have a BPD diagnosis also includes routine, regular sleep and tuning into your sixth sense about how you feel internally. HALT if you feel that gut feeling. Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired? HALT and sort yourself out. Sit down for five minutes and evaluate your inner self.
Social skills and mental illness are separate entities. Don’t blame yourself or beat yourself up on either count; learn what manners and social skills are. Become your own expert on yourself and watch yourself grow and mature emotionally.
I work in mental health and I have seen this and experienced it. It is a thing of beauty to behold.
Sonia Neale was recently awarded the Inaugural Barbara Hocking SANE Australia Fellowship to study and research Borderline Personality Disorder overseas in the USA, Canada, UK and Ireland. Her previous Psych Central blog was called Therapy Unplugged. She is the author of two books, The Bad Mother’s Revenge and Death by Teenager, both published by ABC Books/Harper Collins. She lives in Western Australia, is married with three adult children, has studied psychoanalytic psychotherapy, has a Certificate IV in Mental Health and is studying for a Psychology/Counselling degree. She currently works as a peer support worker in the mental health field.
patorick2010
Mr BPD
It's important to know how to deal with angry people for a number of reasons.
Firstly, you can calm them down, so that they don't take any action that harms you or others – either physically or emotionally. In doing this, you can break the emotional "spirals of escalation" that can cause so much harm, and you can solve the underlying problems that have caused the anger.
Secondly, if you respond angrily to someone else's anger, you can easily end up being seen as the aggressor yourself. This is disastrous if you're in a customer-facing role.
Thirdly, by responding well to angry people, you can build positive relationships with them, and you'll experience less stress and unhappiness as a result of dealing with them.
Finally, when you respond calmly to angry episodes, you set a good example for others. Your behavior can inspire the people around you, which can transform a team's ability to deal with anger.
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/dealing-with-angry-people.htm
Firstly, you can calm them down, so that they don't take any action that harms you or others – either physically or emotionally. In doing this, you can break the emotional "spirals of escalation" that can cause so much harm, and you can solve the underlying problems that have caused the anger.
Secondly, if you respond angrily to someone else's anger, you can easily end up being seen as the aggressor yourself. This is disastrous if you're in a customer-facing role.
Thirdly, by responding well to angry people, you can build positive relationships with them, and you'll experience less stress and unhappiness as a result of dealing with them.
Finally, when you respond calmly to angry episodes, you set a good example for others. Your behavior can inspire the people around you, which can transform a team's ability to deal with anger.
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/dealing-with-angry-people.htm
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
Is it possible for a BPD to say sorry and mean it?
By Teela Wyman,
A professional "peppy" extrovert.
Written Feb 28, 2016
Yes, it is entirely possible for someone with Borderline Personality Disorder to feel remorse/regret/guilt and to legitimately ask for forgiveness.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder are neither empty inside nor are they lacking in the ability to feel any emotion that a neurotypical person also has the ability to feel. They merely regulate their emotions differently. The problem is that they have an Emotional Regulation Disorder-- Emphasizing: Regulation.
Typically their emotional states can be best described as mercurial or sporadic, however this has nothing to do with their ability to experience genuine human emotions. It is perfectly possible for someone with BPD to say sorry and mean it. Many people with BPD are capable of feeling remorse for something they have done in the past, and consistently do so when the memory of said transgression is brought up.
However, many people with BPD also have issues with rejection/ "fears of abandonment", and find it hard to bond with other people, which leads to manipulative behavior.
You have to understand that emotions are usually felt a lot more intensely by a person with BPD. When a normal person feels sad, they usually only feel sadness to a certain strength before it wanes and passes. When a person with BPD feels sadness, they are experiencing what could be described as the "expresso" version of that feeling. They feel pure, unadulterated, soul crushing, piercing sadness-- except unfortunately this feeling can get triggered by: Losing a game of soccer. Getting dumped. Someone "looking at them funny." Their emotional response is technically "inappropriate." Which is where the very common fear of abandonment comes from. You have to understand that someone's approval can feel like life or death for a person with BPD.
Hence why their genuine ability to feel remorse, very often, comes into question. With that being said, not all people with BPD are manipulative-- such a generalization would both be inaccurate and somewhat intolerant.
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-for-a-BPD-to-say-sorry-and-mean-it
By Teela Wyman,
A professional "peppy" extrovert.
Written Feb 28, 2016
Yes, it is entirely possible for someone with Borderline Personality Disorder to feel remorse/regret/guilt and to legitimately ask for forgiveness.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder are neither empty inside nor are they lacking in the ability to feel any emotion that a neurotypical person also has the ability to feel. They merely regulate their emotions differently. The problem is that they have an Emotional Regulation Disorder-- Emphasizing: Regulation.
Typically their emotional states can be best described as mercurial or sporadic, however this has nothing to do with their ability to experience genuine human emotions. It is perfectly possible for someone with BPD to say sorry and mean it. Many people with BPD are capable of feeling remorse for something they have done in the past, and consistently do so when the memory of said transgression is brought up.
However, many people with BPD also have issues with rejection/ "fears of abandonment", and find it hard to bond with other people, which leads to manipulative behavior.
You have to understand that emotions are usually felt a lot more intensely by a person with BPD. When a normal person feels sad, they usually only feel sadness to a certain strength before it wanes and passes. When a person with BPD feels sadness, they are experiencing what could be described as the "expresso" version of that feeling. They feel pure, unadulterated, soul crushing, piercing sadness-- except unfortunately this feeling can get triggered by: Losing a game of soccer. Getting dumped. Someone "looking at them funny." Their emotional response is technically "inappropriate." Which is where the very common fear of abandonment comes from. You have to understand that someone's approval can feel like life or death for a person with BPD.
Hence why their genuine ability to feel remorse, very often, comes into question. With that being said, not all people with BPD are manipulative-- such a generalization would both be inaccurate and somewhat intolerant.
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-for-a-BPD-to-say-sorry-and-mean-it
patorick2010
Mr BPD
Hope you are well. I have a question about Borderline Personality Disorder I'm hoping you can answer; Does getting angry at seeing other people happy a trait at B.P.D., or is it something else entirely? Thanks for your time.
Hey,
Relatively well, thanks. Bit of a sinus infection, but thanks for the question.
Jealous anger is a big part of BPD (at least for me, anyway). We all get a bit jealous now and then, but with BPD it is intensely overwhelming and overpowering.
If some close friends of mine are hanging out with some of their other friends and I'm not invited or included (for whatever reason) I feel overwhelmingly envious, jealous, betrayed and really angry. Whether they know I wanted to go or not. Especially if the other people are female and beautiful. I always feel left out even when I am out with friends because I am either jealous of the attention they are getting, upset with myself for being so selfish or ashamed that I am objectifying every available wonderful woman.
Fear, obligation and guilt are all big aspects of BPD. Jealousy is more to do with guilt, that you are not grateful enough for the things you have or for idealising whomever you are jealous of. No one is perfect. You just have to try as hard as you can to let it go and not let it ruin your day.
We all want to be happy, but sometimes we focus so much on our desire for it that we lose perspective. The reality check is when you see happiness in other people and you desperately want that feeling, no matter what you have to do.
It could be something else entirely for you though, you should definitely talk to you Doctor about it.
Later,
Pat.
[email protected]
http://stores.ebay.com.au/patorick
Hey,
Relatively well, thanks. Bit of a sinus infection, but thanks for the question.
Jealous anger is a big part of BPD (at least for me, anyway). We all get a bit jealous now and then, but with BPD it is intensely overwhelming and overpowering.
If some close friends of mine are hanging out with some of their other friends and I'm not invited or included (for whatever reason) I feel overwhelmingly envious, jealous, betrayed and really angry. Whether they know I wanted to go or not. Especially if the other people are female and beautiful. I always feel left out even when I am out with friends because I am either jealous of the attention they are getting, upset with myself for being so selfish or ashamed that I am objectifying every available wonderful woman.
Fear, obligation and guilt are all big aspects of BPD. Jealousy is more to do with guilt, that you are not grateful enough for the things you have or for idealising whomever you are jealous of. No one is perfect. You just have to try as hard as you can to let it go and not let it ruin your day.
We all want to be happy, but sometimes we focus so much on our desire for it that we lose perspective. The reality check is when you see happiness in other people and you desperately want that feeling, no matter what you have to do.
It could be something else entirely for you though, you should definitely talk to you Doctor about it.
Later,
Pat.
[email protected]
http://stores.ebay.com.au/patorick
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
http://www.my-borderline-personalit...ling-criticism-emotionally-sensitive-BPD.html
Coping Effectively With Criticism as an Emotionally Sensitive Person
Having Borderline Personality Disorder, for me, often means coping with emotions that show up more intensely than they may for others (especially sadness and anger and feelings that come up with loneliness and perceived rejection or abandonment). This has been a major component of my walk. Specifically, learning to cope with criticism has been a huge challenge for me for many years, as it is for many emotionally sensitive people.
I recently blogged about all of the ways in which I am seeing healing and growth in my own personal journey using Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), determination, and trusting in the process.
I still, of course, face challenges. This morning I received an upsetting email. It was from someone who was upset with me for a number of reasons, mostly having to do with her self-revelation that she feels she is lacking much in her life, including the support that she desperately feels she needs and deserves. For that, I felt compassion and empathy. Her message went on to criticize me in a number of ways, many of which I read as having more to do with her own current problems than really about me, but it rattled me none the less. I felt badly that someone felt this way. I knew I had to put up my boundary bubble and NOT take on this person's reaction as "the truth" of my experience. Just because she felt it and expressed it vividly did NOT mean that it her perception and feelings were true for ME. This is a huge issue for a lot of us with BPD -- discovering where others end and where we begin -- but it has been an essential part of healing for me and many others. Perhaps you have noticed improvements in your ability to cope as you learn to implement and enforce boundaries in your life.
I've talked before about how it used to be intolerable for me to cope with someone not liking me or what I do. I would bend and twist and morph to try to please everyone, because it meant more to me to please others, retain their admiration, and not "rock the boat," than it did to figure out who I really am, what I want, what my values are, and how I choose to live those out -- not to mention the need for taking care of myself when attacked verbally. Sound selfish? It might if we've spent most of our lives focusing on keeping everyone else happy, content, and okay and little attention directing that same love and care toward ourselves.
It isn't selfish. It's part of healing.
If I'd received this critical message even two years ago, I probably would have acted impulsively -- maybe even as extremely as removing my blog. I'm not that same person.
Can you relate? Do you feel a need to compensate for others criticisms? Do you find, as an emotionally sensitive person, that you want to accommodate others and make them happy, because knowing they are unhappy with you causes distress?
Coping Effectively With Criticism
I'm not going to say that this person's email didn't upset or hurt me, because it did. But with continued reflection, I brought my Wise Mind online. You can try this the next time you find yourself reacting to criticism:
- Sometimes criticism is constructive. Being emotionally sensitive may mean that our initial reaction is to become alarmed or upset by criticism, seeing it as an attack on who or as rejection. We can usually tell the intention behind the critical remark given the context in which it is delivered. Sometimes we also need to ask for further clarification.
- Check your sensitivity level. Might you be reading more into the critique because you are feeling particularly vulnerable for other reasons? (I personally received some very upsetting, hugely triggering information about a friend of the family yesterday, and I also felt a little bit triggered by a friend's story, though ultimately I found it healing and helpful. I was in a space to receive things from an even more sensitive perspective than usual when I opened that message.)
- Check intentions when you can. When criticism is clearly given to make you feel bad or judge you, you can often notice other messages in the person's communication that can help you see that the criticism is less about you and more about the other person. They may be hurting, lacking, feeling jealous, or seeking approval or validation. If you pick up on this, try being a little bit kind, but also set up a boundary that you do not accept being treated badly when someone else is feeling badly about themselves.
- Use your DBT skills to cope with the distress. Rather than making matter worse, turn to your Distress Tolerance and Self-Soothing skills to care for yourself until the intensity of your reaction diminishes. The intense emotions and reactions that can come up with receiving criticism WILL pass. No matter how intense they feel right now, I've found it's better to wait a bit before taking any action, as we often regret behaviors that we act out in the heat of the moment and as a reaction to feeling hurt or attacked.
Is coping effectively with criticism an issue for you? How do you cope? How might you use some of the ideas here to cope more effectively in the future?
Thanks for reading.
http://www.my-borderline-personalit...ling-criticism-emotionally-sensitive-BPD.html
Coping Effectively With Criticism as an Emotionally Sensitive Person
Having Borderline Personality Disorder, for me, often means coping with emotions that show up more intensely than they may for others (especially sadness and anger and feelings that come up with loneliness and perceived rejection or abandonment). This has been a major component of my walk. Specifically, learning to cope with criticism has been a huge challenge for me for many years, as it is for many emotionally sensitive people.
I recently blogged about all of the ways in which I am seeing healing and growth in my own personal journey using Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), determination, and trusting in the process.
I still, of course, face challenges. This morning I received an upsetting email. It was from someone who was upset with me for a number of reasons, mostly having to do with her self-revelation that she feels she is lacking much in her life, including the support that she desperately feels she needs and deserves. For that, I felt compassion and empathy. Her message went on to criticize me in a number of ways, many of which I read as having more to do with her own current problems than really about me, but it rattled me none the less. I felt badly that someone felt this way. I knew I had to put up my boundary bubble and NOT take on this person's reaction as "the truth" of my experience. Just because she felt it and expressed it vividly did NOT mean that it her perception and feelings were true for ME. This is a huge issue for a lot of us with BPD -- discovering where others end and where we begin -- but it has been an essential part of healing for me and many others. Perhaps you have noticed improvements in your ability to cope as you learn to implement and enforce boundaries in your life.
I've talked before about how it used to be intolerable for me to cope with someone not liking me or what I do. I would bend and twist and morph to try to please everyone, because it meant more to me to please others, retain their admiration, and not "rock the boat," than it did to figure out who I really am, what I want, what my values are, and how I choose to live those out -- not to mention the need for taking care of myself when attacked verbally. Sound selfish? It might if we've spent most of our lives focusing on keeping everyone else happy, content, and okay and little attention directing that same love and care toward ourselves.
It isn't selfish. It's part of healing.
If I'd received this critical message even two years ago, I probably would have acted impulsively -- maybe even as extremely as removing my blog. I'm not that same person.
Can you relate? Do you feel a need to compensate for others criticisms? Do you find, as an emotionally sensitive person, that you want to accommodate others and make them happy, because knowing they are unhappy with you causes distress?
Coping Effectively With Criticism
I'm not going to say that this person's email didn't upset or hurt me, because it did. But with continued reflection, I brought my Wise Mind online. You can try this the next time you find yourself reacting to criticism:
- Sometimes criticism is constructive. Being emotionally sensitive may mean that our initial reaction is to become alarmed or upset by criticism, seeing it as an attack on who or as rejection. We can usually tell the intention behind the critical remark given the context in which it is delivered. Sometimes we also need to ask for further clarification.
- Check your sensitivity level. Might you be reading more into the critique because you are feeling particularly vulnerable for other reasons? (I personally received some very upsetting, hugely triggering information about a friend of the family yesterday, and I also felt a little bit triggered by a friend's story, though ultimately I found it healing and helpful. I was in a space to receive things from an even more sensitive perspective than usual when I opened that message.)
- Check intentions when you can. When criticism is clearly given to make you feel bad or judge you, you can often notice other messages in the person's communication that can help you see that the criticism is less about you and more about the other person. They may be hurting, lacking, feeling jealous, or seeking approval or validation. If you pick up on this, try being a little bit kind, but also set up a boundary that you do not accept being treated badly when someone else is feeling badly about themselves.
- Use your DBT skills to cope with the distress. Rather than making matter worse, turn to your Distress Tolerance and Self-Soothing skills to care for yourself until the intensity of your reaction diminishes. The intense emotions and reactions that can come up with receiving criticism WILL pass. No matter how intense they feel right now, I've found it's better to wait a bit before taking any action, as we often regret behaviors that we act out in the heat of the moment and as a reaction to feeling hurt or attacked.
Is coping effectively with criticism an issue for you? How do you cope? How might you use some of the ideas here to cope more effectively in the future?
Thanks for reading.
http://www.my-borderline-personalit...ling-criticism-emotionally-sensitive-BPD.html
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
Co-occurring Disorders
https://www.bpdcentral.com/borderline-disorder/co-occurring-disorders/
Many people with borderline personality disorder have another disorder in addition to BPD.
Depression is the most common co-occurring disorder (up to 70 percent; however other sources believe it’s almost universal). The rest of them are substance abuse (35 percent), eating disorders (25 percent), narcissistic personality disorder (25 percent), and bipolar disorder (formerly called manic-depression) (15 percent) and histrionic personality disorder (unknown).
While many people get Bipolar Disorder and BPD confused, the two are very different.
Bipolar is a mood disorder.
BPD is a personality disorder characterized, in part, by mood swings.
BPD and bipolar are different in that:
- While people with bipolar disorder swing between mania and major depression, the mood swings typical in BPD are for a variety of emotions: fear, anger, etc
- People with BPD cycle much more quickly, often several times a day.
- The moods in people with BPD are more dependent, either positively or negatively, on what’s going on in their life at the moment.
https://www.bpdcentral.com/borderline-disorder/co-occurring-disorders/
https://www.bpdcentral.com/borderline-disorder/co-occurring-disorders/
Many people with borderline personality disorder have another disorder in addition to BPD.
Depression is the most common co-occurring disorder (up to 70 percent; however other sources believe it’s almost universal). The rest of them are substance abuse (35 percent), eating disorders (25 percent), narcissistic personality disorder (25 percent), and bipolar disorder (formerly called manic-depression) (15 percent) and histrionic personality disorder (unknown).
While many people get Bipolar Disorder and BPD confused, the two are very different.
Bipolar is a mood disorder.
BPD is a personality disorder characterized, in part, by mood swings.
BPD and bipolar are different in that:
- While people with bipolar disorder swing between mania and major depression, the mood swings typical in BPD are for a variety of emotions: fear, anger, etc
- People with BPD cycle much more quickly, often several times a day.
- The moods in people with BPD are more dependent, either positively or negatively, on what’s going on in their life at the moment.
https://www.bpdcentral.com/borderline-disorder/co-occurring-disorders/
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
patorick2010
Mr BPD
The Ugly Truth Behind Why I Think Everyone Hates Me
https://themighty.com/2016/12/bpd-borderline-personality-disorder-hating-yourself/
December 7, 2016
By Stephanie Reamsbottom (I write about Borderline Personality Disorder)
Judgment can be a painful thing to experience at any stage of anyone’s life. We hate to think of the ones closest to us thinking any sort of negative way about what and more specifically who we are. That’s the thing about living with borderline personality disorder (BPD) though: nearly all moments of my life I feel there is a constant, scrupulous judgment being thrown towards me by everyone I meet. It is agonizing to constantly meet everyone’s gaze with the presumption that they must already hate me. If I muster the courage to smile and they don’t return it – suddenly I think they think I’m ugly, someone must have told them how “crazy” I am and now I’m being shunned. These thoughts are exhausting and to most people, downright ridiculous, and that makes it all the worse.
The horrific truth, though, is in the end when I am in my most rational mindset, I realize I am the one judging myself more than anyone I see or meet throughout my life. Every day I hate myself and judge myself for being the worst person in the world. No one is more ignorant than me. No one has an uglier soul or uglier thoughts and patterns of self-destruction than I do. No one hurts the ones they love more than I seem to be able to. I see and judge myself consistently and constantly from the time I begin my day to the time I am finally able to close my eyes and sleep.
What I wish this person, this broken little girl within me, understood, is that it’s OK. It’s OK not to be that “pretty, outgoing girl everyone loves and adores” and is friends with. Because quite honestly, I’m not that person. It takes me a little longer to warm up to people and not feel so anxious around them. Sometimes I’ll need more comforting, more loving, and validation from others than most people would probably expect.
What I need this little girl inside me, the one who fears abandonment and the thought of anyone disliking her in the slightest, I need her to understand I’m still beautiful. That even though I may have a variety of flaws that might always be apart of me, I still have a beautiful soul. I feel things more deeply than most, and sometimes seeing the raw, ugly truth about something doesn’t have to be a negative. I can use it and focus it in more constructive, useful areas of my life. She needs to understand that it’s OK not to be perfect, it’s OK to be flawed, it’s OK to be broken.
And at the end of the day, my reality and who I am, is my own reality I must live with. But it doesn’t have to be ugly and painful. It can be passionate, beautiful, and honest.
https://themighty.com/2016/12/bpd-borderline-personality-disorder-hating-yourself/
December 7, 2016
By Stephanie Reamsbottom (I write about Borderline Personality Disorder)
Judgment can be a painful thing to experience at any stage of anyone’s life. We hate to think of the ones closest to us thinking any sort of negative way about what and more specifically who we are. That’s the thing about living with borderline personality disorder (BPD) though: nearly all moments of my life I feel there is a constant, scrupulous judgment being thrown towards me by everyone I meet. It is agonizing to constantly meet everyone’s gaze with the presumption that they must already hate me. If I muster the courage to smile and they don’t return it – suddenly I think they think I’m ugly, someone must have told them how “crazy” I am and now I’m being shunned. These thoughts are exhausting and to most people, downright ridiculous, and that makes it all the worse.
The horrific truth, though, is in the end when I am in my most rational mindset, I realize I am the one judging myself more than anyone I see or meet throughout my life. Every day I hate myself and judge myself for being the worst person in the world. No one is more ignorant than me. No one has an uglier soul or uglier thoughts and patterns of self-destruction than I do. No one hurts the ones they love more than I seem to be able to. I see and judge myself consistently and constantly from the time I begin my day to the time I am finally able to close my eyes and sleep.
What I wish this person, this broken little girl within me, understood, is that it’s OK. It’s OK not to be that “pretty, outgoing girl everyone loves and adores” and is friends with. Because quite honestly, I’m not that person. It takes me a little longer to warm up to people and not feel so anxious around them. Sometimes I’ll need more comforting, more loving, and validation from others than most people would probably expect.
What I need this little girl inside me, the one who fears abandonment and the thought of anyone disliking her in the slightest, I need her to understand I’m still beautiful. That even though I may have a variety of flaws that might always be apart of me, I still have a beautiful soul. I feel things more deeply than most, and sometimes seeing the raw, ugly truth about something doesn’t have to be a negative. I can use it and focus it in more constructive, useful areas of my life. She needs to understand that it’s OK not to be perfect, it’s OK to be flawed, it’s OK to be broken.
And at the end of the day, my reality and who I am, is my own reality I must live with. But it doesn’t have to be ugly and painful. It can be passionate, beautiful, and honest.
patorick2010
Mr BPD
| Team | P | W | L | PD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
6 | 5 | 1 | 59 | 12 |
|
6 | 5 | 1 | 20 | 12 |
|
6 | 4 | 2 | 53 | 10 |
|
6 | 4 | 2 | 30 | 10 |
|
7 | 4 | 2 | 25 | 9 |
|
7 | 4 | 3 | 40 | 8 |
|
7 | 4 | 3 | 24 | 8 |
|
7 | 4 | 3 | -8 | 8 |
|
7 | 4 | 3 | -18 | 8 |
|
7 | 3 | 3 | 20 | 7 |
|
7 | 3 | 4 | 31 | 6 |
|
7 | 3 | 4 | 17 | 6 |
|
6 | 2 | 4 | -31 | 6 |
|
7 | 3 | 4 | -41 | 6 |
|
7 | 2 | 5 | -29 | 4 |
|
6 | 1 | 5 | -102 | 4 |
|
6 | 0 | 6 | -90 | 2 |
