patorick2010
Mr BPD
What are some of the most common mistakes people make when dealing with someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD)?
Source
Written by: Taylor Beckett
The most common mistakes people make with Cluster B people in general is thinking that if you treat them like a non-disordered person, they will respond as a non-disordered person. “If I love them enough, they will realize I won’t hurt them”. They are disordered. Love doesn’t fix that. “If I give in on this, they will stop acting like that”. They are disordered. You will never compromise enough. They will always need more. Because the issue wasn’t really your action or words - it is an internal wound they need to heal and they need professional help to do that. Nothing you do will ever be enough. “In time, they will see they can trust me”. Time doesn’t heal disordered thought processes. Therapy does.
So the biggest mistake you can make is staying with someone who is disordered and not in therapy to fix it. You are wasting your time and hurting yourself. They need to do the work to get well and like all of us, they are best to be single until they get their symptoms managed. It isn’t your job to fix and save people. News flash - you can’t. So step out of the saviour role and find a partner that is ready to be a partner. Your life will blossom if you do that.
Source
Written by: Taylor Beckett
The most common mistakes people make with Cluster B people in general is thinking that if you treat them like a non-disordered person, they will respond as a non-disordered person. “If I love them enough, they will realize I won’t hurt them”. They are disordered. Love doesn’t fix that. “If I give in on this, they will stop acting like that”. They are disordered. You will never compromise enough. They will always need more. Because the issue wasn’t really your action or words - it is an internal wound they need to heal and they need professional help to do that. Nothing you do will ever be enough. “In time, they will see they can trust me”. Time doesn’t heal disordered thought processes. Therapy does.
So the biggest mistake you can make is staying with someone who is disordered and not in therapy to fix it. You are wasting your time and hurting yourself. They need to do the work to get well and like all of us, they are best to be single until they get their symptoms managed. It isn’t your job to fix and save people. News flash - you can’t. So step out of the saviour role and find a partner that is ready to be a partner. Your life will blossom if you do that.