Someone has to know better. At some point, while this is being presented, someone has to stand up, look at everyone in the room and say “Are you f’ing kidding me!?†There is no possible way a group of adults, paid to do a job with any sense of decency and creative intent, gazed upon this monstrosity of a creation and vociferously declared “WINâ€. Deep within the bowls of hell Satan is presently gathering his imps and his declaring a small victory in his effort to take over the world.
This tramples upon all that is good and pure. It is a rotting fruit on the blighted tree that is the Jaguars experience. Just when we thought the blooms of spring would soon manifest their beauty this pox spreads its wings and darkens our lives. Somewhere, I’d have to imagine, Justin Blackmon sits and considers, “Well at least I wasn’t part of this decision making process.†It is not beyond reason to think a human being could evacuate an entire quart of blood after watching this. If you heard a faint popping during the lost time spent subjected to this pestilence it was probably the death of any number of neurons in your now crippled brain.
This morning I will seek a small plot of land in my back yard. I will go to my garage and get a shovel. I will then dig three small graves. One for integrity, one for good taste and one for my soul. All which were subsequently lost when the Doomsday Clock struck 2:00. Frankly I quit at :30.
My apologies to anyone reading this who wrote or participated in this lesson in Jaguaring. I don’t doubt you love the team and this probably was a great deal of fun for you. Odds are the real a-hole is me for not just watching it and moving on. Odds are if my heart was in a better place I’d see it for what it is: fans approaching the game and the team differently than most of us would. So feel free to sling your arrows and harsh words at me because I deserve it. And for the record I was over the top for dramatic effect.
But it was had to watch. Passing a kidney stone hard.
$26 looking better than usual.
