[Resurrected] Lewis Brown - 'The Utility Belt'

[bob dylan]

 

[Woodsie]

He ain't gone yet ......

 

[Mitch]

Manly star Lewis Brown’s brave stand to break tragic cycle

• 3 hours ago
• Nathan Ryan@nath_ryan
• Source: FOX SPORTS

Dec 16, 2016 at 11:58pm PST
AFTER two consecutive generations of family tragedy, Lewis Brown first reached out with an emotional Instagram post. It was not enough.

Now, as rugby league comes to grips with the passing of Chad Robinson, Brown has revealed how the suicide of his estranged father Bevan late last year prompted him to make several significant changes to his life and take up the fight against depression, personally and now publicly.

For the illness has not just claimed his dad but also his grandfather.

“Just before the Four Nations final my sister (Mandessa) found out my old man had died. He actually killed himself. She found out before the final and didn’t tell me until straight after (the game) which I’m thankful for,” Brown told foxsports.com.au.

“It’s changed my head space a bit. I hadn’t talked to my old man in eight years so it’s been hard.

“I’m glad to be back at training and in a good head space. I’m real happy. I’m still grieving.

“Suicide is a hard thing. You have so many questions, especially when I haven’t talked to my old man in eight years.

“2016 was one of the hardest years on and off the field for me. I want to get back to being happy. That’s when I play my best footy.”

Raised by single mother Trish, Brown had limited contact with his father while growing up in Christchurch.

The time they spent together gradually diminished as he grew older.

After landing a scholarship with the Roosters as a teenager, Brown moved to Sydney and they completely lost touch.

It wasn’t until a chance meeting with a man recently released from prison who had reunited with his son while Brown was playing Jersey Flegg that the former Warrior and Panther decided to reach out to his father.

They spoke. Brown travelled to New Zealand to visit him and again they drifted.

It was during this time he learnt of his father’s struggled with the black dog.

“A lot of the stuff I’m feeling at the moment is guilt,” he revealed.

“I found out that my dad’s dad (also) committed suicide.

“I’ve drawn a line in the sand and started speaking to someone.

“My mum pulled me aside and said ‘you’re in a position where you can really help someone’.

“I only had one photo of me with my old man. I put it up on Instagram with a message. I thought if I can help one person turn their life around or reach out, I’m willing to do that.

“I’m 30 now and since I was five I had a lot of feelings about my dad that I wanted to tell him but I put them on the back burner because I thought one day I’d get to the point where I’d eventually tell him. Unfortunately time ran out for me. I’m sure this will make me stronger as a person and rugby league player.”

During the Christmas break, Brown spent time with several Kiwi teens caught up in gang life in a bid to steer them in the right direction.

He said the shock loss of his father has given him the courage to make several key changes in his personal life — including working through his issues with a professional, which has already had positive impacts.

He said he had been struck by apparent similarities between himself and Robinson.

“I’m gutted and thankful that it’s taken something extreme like this for me to go ‘hold up’,” he said.

“I’m the type of dude where I hold everything in and I don’t want to be a burden on people.

“I was reading about Chad Robinson and he was similar.

“I’ve started talking to someone who is a professional and I don’t want to put it all in the back in my head and in 15 years’ time it all comes out. I want to break the cycle.

“It’s been a tough couple of months but this is the best head space I’ve been in a long time.”

And it’s not just mental health Brown has been working on.

With an incredible outlook on life, Brown has shifted his attention to bringing happiness back to his game.

Last pre-season he joined the Sea Eagles from Penrith but was limited in pre-season training due to a knee injury.

The injury affected his entire season to the point where he admits he lost the spark that made him a success in the NRL.

But after returning to training early, restless waiting at home to get back to work, the utility has reignited that flame and is primed for a massive season.

“When I’m at my best, I’m energetic and enthusiastic,” he explained.

“I probably haven’t got the best skills in the game but I’m energetic and if you look at me playing five different positions, I play them all the same. I run hard and tackle hard. I’m energetic and I probably lost that last year.

“I’ve got two years left at Manly but there’s kids coming through putting pressure on me. I’ve gone back to my old mindset. Just put your head down and work hard.

“I’m ahead of where I was last year. I played every game but felt like I was forever chasing my tail. I was pretty disappointed with my quality of game. I didn’t think I had a great season and I know the Manly fans weren’t too happy with me. I understand. That’s a bit of fuel on the fire for me.”

 

[maxta]

Maybe his head wasn't in the best place in 2016 and to be fair - that's where it starts before lacing up a boot.
Credit to Brown for an honest self analysis and good luck to him.
Personally feel bad for his circumstances, but if I had a say in selection, would at this stage, be out of the top 17.
In fairness have seen him play far better footy at rival clubs and hope he regains that form and most importantly, hope he is ok off the field.

 

[HoldenV8]

As much as we malign Brown on here a lot, there has to be a reason why he keeps getting selected to play for NZ and its not because there is no one else.

In saying that though I have to agree with @maxta in that as it stands he probably wouldn't be in the Manly top 17 if I was coaching the team.

Either way though, its a cliche but its true. Football is just a game, I hope his private life stays strong.

 

[Loobs]

I always liked Lou's comment to Bud at the end of Wall Street.

"Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, manfinds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss."

Best of luck this year to Lewis. Whether he makes the 17 or not, the fact he's there busting a gut will hopefully lift the standard across the board.

 

[maxta]

I always liked Lou's comment to Bud at the end of Wall Street.

"Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, manfinds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss."

Best of luck this year to Lewis. Whether he makes the 17 or not, the fact he's there busting a gut will hopefully lift the standard across the board.

Add Rocky, Jaws and Casino mate - Wall Street an old school favourite...

 

[Mark from Brisbane]

Football aside, my thoughts are with him and his family.

A very near neighbour when I lived in Moree came home one afternoon after work to find his 17 year old son hanging from the rafters , it shattered the family, caused a marriage breakup and to this day he doesn't know why.

I know there's always other parts of this that you don't hear but as a father of two daughters I cannot imagine the grief this would cause.

Their pain is gone, yours lasts a lifetime!!

 

[southsideeagle]

I think Lewis at his best may just fill a role the coach wants. The sort that can allow others to do the creative stuff and win games. It will be interesting to see where he is playing a month into the comp. ie which team and what position.

 

[Mark from Brisbane]

I think Lewis at his best may just fill a role the coach wants. The sort that can allow others to do the creative stuff and win games. It will be interesting to see where he is playing a month into the comp. ie which team and what position.

Being completely fair, he hardly played the same position in two consecutive games last year AND at times played in two seperate positions from one half to the next.

Who knows , a normal year and he might shine in a utility role.

 

[bringbackbeaver]

Being completely fair, he hardly played the same position in two consecutive games last year AND at times played in two seperate positions from one half to the next.

Who knows , a normal year and he might shine in a utility role.

I think overall, we are way too hard on his performances last year. Like i've said a few times, he was our most capped player last year and whilst was very average, he always had a go for mine. And as @Mark from Brisbane said, they kept throwing him in different positions which never helps.
If you have a staff member who went through what Brown went through, no doubt that would affect his performance at work. I think we should be giving him a chance in '17 to regain some form. I hope he does because he seems like a decent bloke for mine. I he can't find the spark, then he won't be playing 1st grade with all the potentials coming through.

 

[Hamster Huey]

Could have been easy for him to go with the flow, using his age and experience to keep floating through clubs for the next half decade.

But to hear his honest appraisal of his mindspace/efforts, is refreshing. Shows me a real intent to give the club and fans his best now that he's in the process of clearing a few dark patches from his mind.

I can't help but be impressed by this and whereas I couldn't wait to see the back of him, am now looking forward to seeing whether his actions now match his words in 2017.

 

[HoldenV8]

Apart from what's been said in this article, I do agree that part of Brown's problem in 2016 is that he was never allowed to settle into a single role.

Was he the bench utility? Was he a centre? Was he a back rower? Was he a hooker? One week he'd start in the centre's, the next he'd be on the bench and play 30 minutes at hooker, and a week later he'd be starting in the back row. And as @Mark from Brisbane said he would often play one position in one half and come out and play another in the second half.

Its hard to get settled and try to find form when you continually have to chop and change positions due to team mates getting injured. Playing centre is different to playing in the back row, and both are very different from playing hooker.

I still think his best role in the squad, if Barrett intends him to be in first grade which is more than likely, is as a bench utility.

 

[Andrew..]

It doesn't matter which position you play on the field. If you don't commit when you're making a tackle you're letting your mates down. All players drop off occasionality but if it becomes a regular feature you don't belong anywhere in the 17.

 

[BOZO]

Sad to hear Browns story . I hope 2017 is a better year on and off the field

 

[Duff]

My only real issue with him was his defence out wide and that's the coaches fault for putting him there. Sounds like the knee injury had a bit to do with it. Baz should've read that better.
If only he'd given young Parker a good crack at centre, we may not be having the debate over who plays there now and Brown would've been spared a lot of crap that it seems he really could've done without.

 

[Regal Lab Bandit]

I've seen a lot of criticism of Brown and I know we have the right as Members and supporters but offs it was his first year at the club, he;s obviously going through a horrid time so WE SHOULD be giving this guy our full support, we're all human after all??

 

[Woodsie]

It doesn't matter which position you play on the field. If you don't commit when you're making a tackle you're letting your mates down. All players drop off occasionality but if it becomes a regular feature you don't belong anywhere in the 17.

Andrew, one of the problems you have when defending in the centres, is that when your opponent is faster than you and he goes around you, often the only part of him you can get is with your hands .... this was Brown's situation every time he played out wide, every opponent had him for pace, and often he did well just grabbing him.

Not a reason that can be used in the middle though.

 

[Woodsie]

Good luck lewis .. one think for certain, if you are playing FG this season you must be going good, because you will be keeping some others out.

 

[wombatgc]

Good luck to him.